GoTHikA

Monday, April 18, 2005

my n levels are comin up somewhere in june or july i'm not really sure bout it..and since my GIRO had when dry since my fucking "dad" stop giving me money, i had to pay my n levels fees with cash.. $290/- ..... to u guyz, dis amount is easy to get..duhh juz ask ur parents..rite? me? u're kidding...we can't even get $50 for ourselves everyday..

my mom has her own stall set up in a canteen somewhere in yishun industry park and her earnings are LESS than $150.. dun ferget..she still needs to buy the next day's groceries for her stall..aNd her stall rent..AnD the stall's cooking gas..anD 2 bottles of cooking oil dat she uses EvERydAy for her cooking( boy..dat sure is healthy)..AND there's one more thing...BILLS!!!! sometimes she even had to use her own savings instead of the "profit" dat she earned...itz NOT enough..

my "dad".............he's dead..im very2 sure of dat.. if he's not, i wish him dead...maybe he's still wif dat fucking bitch dat ruined my life...OUR life..we whud still be a one big happy family if it wont for dat creep...i dun even noe my "grandmother", my "grandfather", "aunts n uncles" and my "cousins" frm his side of the family...seriously i haf no idea who they are.. if i see someone i dun noe walking down the street, n my bros tell me dat he or she is one of my relative, i'll go "yea rite...like i'll fall for dat.."

there's one time during hari raya, where one day my 2nd bro decided to bring me to my "dad's" relatives' house..he told me to get to noe em..i dun really wanna go coz i dun noe em n i dun want to haf anything to do wif my "dad"..but after my mom insist me to go..i juz go..bluekkk.. my "relatives" are like.....different.. u noe those ms/mr goodie-goodie-two-shoes? yup..datz em..
wen i got there..my "dad" wasnt even arnd..itz really..heartbreaking u noe..seeing my other "relatives" wif their fathers..one big happy family..on hari raya.......their OWN father..not step-fathers..fathers dat care..fathers dat love.. i get very jealous seeing them..very much since i cursed under my breath dat each n everyone of their fathers whud leave their mothers n let them see how i feel..how whud my mother feel..but nah..me n my mom dun hold grudges agaisnt em..not them..itz my "dad"..n his pet bitch..along wif their filthy dog babies..eEw..
juz hate em....

my step-father is another idiot who juz love to get on my nerves..n my mom's..all the time.. his side of the family is also different frm mine..i've told u bout my "dad's relatives", now i'll tell u bout my step-father's side..we oredy haf ms/mr goodies-goodies, now we haf ms/mr badies-badies.. tattoos..body piercing..sex...gangterism.. u'll get the pic.. i dun haf much info bout em coz i juz care less..my "step-sis" or rather his daughter ( wait..im not talking bout my half-sis... )told one of my "step-cousins" dat i wasnt invited when we(me n my mom..together wif my step-father n adik..but most of the time the insult is aim basically on me n my mom...) visited my step-father's mother's house in the east side ( u wish im gonna call her my grams..)..
and dis "step-cousin" of mine juz walk up to my face n told me "ira..kak kas ckp korg(me n my mom) uat pe sebok2 kat sini..jgn menyebok ah.. korg bkan sedare kat sini pe.." SIAL! i really felt like crying at dat time..really..my eyes were burning n i told my mom dat i was told n my mom..well.. when..a lil bit..out of mind.. but shez ok now..no worries :D

back at my "dad's" relatives house, although i didnt really enjoy being there, i feel a sense of warmness..i feel like i was somewhere..get it? AWRGHHH

Unknown was alive on 12:55:00 PM